A Chef and a Music Theory Student

Rack of Lamb

Note: This spoonerism is used with permission from my son, Aaron, a chef at The Georgian Restaurant in the Olympic Fairmont Hotel. He related to me that when discussing some menu items with his co-workers, he accidentally said, 'lack of ram'.

General panic and commotion ensued when the kitchen staff discovered that their online order for a rack of lamb never materialized. It was later determined that the computer used to place the order failed to submit the request due to a lack of ram.

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Exam Time in Music Theory Class

A second year theory student scratched his gourd,
As he gazed at the staff lines on the Prof's chalk board.

As the pupil 'figured' the bass, "Baroque sure had its place",
He thought, then produced the answer, "a Bach chord!".

A Nose For Success

A Notion to Pose


Mr. Durante had a notion to pose for the press,
"A potion for the nose", said a reporter, "would be best".
"There's a clause", said Jimmy, "within my fame-laden contract,
It states, 'My schnaz remains gargantuan and largely intact'".

Hot Kiss

Melodramaticist and actor named Chris,
Had a scene in Act II which involved a hot kiss.
With his lips firmly planted his ear caught a hiss,
From row three, the fiancee of the actress cast, 'Miss'.

The Lost Knight at the Long Table

This poon spoem highlights four separate spoonerisms and just happens to follow the rules of cadence described by the limmerick. It is not a strict limmerick because the last line must rhyme with the first.


The lone Knight, he sat at the Long Table,
And stared blankly at the tong label.
"For the salad, I presume",
As he hummed a sad tune,
And expected he'd arrived a tad soon.

His fellow Knights, at the Round Table that night,
Signed his pack,said, "Alas!, he's not got it quite right".
"Fare thee well", they all said,
"Where thee fell you're sure dead",
Whilst the Knight mostly pined for his sack.

A Spoonerpoem on Dark Beer

A doe in the wood,
Gets into your camp,
Drinks up all your dark beer.

She can forget what she is,
Act like a dog,
And become a slobbery bark deer.

Then, the reeling deer,
The one that drank beer,
Might stumble and lurch and fall down.

Near a pond or a river,
On a bank, feeling drear,
While you pack up and head for town.

Swordsman Sam

Oh, and how so many childhood hours I did spend imagining that I was the victorious, weapon-wielding hero. It is in the spirit of a child's world that I give you this spoonerpoem, Swordsman Sam.

Little four year old Swordsman Sam, one day,
Packed up a sandwich, some chips and his blade.

He set out for the backyard to find the dark cave,
Where the fire-breathing creature and its treasure did lay.

Then, as the beast emerged from the dark with a scream,
Sam's unsheathed sword in the sunlight did gleam,
And with a bim! and a bam! that dragon he slayed.

Happy Birthday Jen!

This poon spoem is dedicated to my daughter Jen on this, her twenty-sixth revolution around the Sun.

My daughter and her brother...

My daughter and her brother,
They went out as two shopppers,
On her birthday kind of day.

He surprised her and bought her,
A certain special druther,
And she wore it when they attended the play.